ghosts

Once again,I've caught myself looking down on the world , regardless of the million times I promised not to.It's pity and ludicrous at the same time , how we think we are happy, and then in one particular moment we actually realize we have been deluding ourselves for quite a while.And surprisingly, it comes like a bolt from the blue.We had been fooling ourselves so efficiently that we  actually believed.Which , to some extend, is good , because convincing ourselves in something we firstly didn't believe is the first step of changing our state of mind,life and our whole existense.BUT, we simply shouldn't let it all collapse in front of our eyes.We should keep on going until it all becomes reality.And I am obstinately trying to persuade myself to clasp the happiness with both my hands and to never release it again.It would have been much easier if it wasn't that lonesome atmosphere which as though is aiming to eat me alive.The statement that we are so much together , but we are dying of loneliness keeps running in the head.Because it is so fuckin true,it hurts.
Is it that we are always forgetting to be grateful , or is the world  that became one bleak and drab place?I'd be glad if it was our lack of thankfulness , but unfortunately things are going the other way.I can see it their eyes.I haven't seen true happiness in a while.And I am sure I didn't , because it stands out in the crowd.People are shining , their faces are gleaming and they are as if spreading happiness around. This is gone , somewhere far.Now , even smiling at a stranger as a sign of positiveness has become so rare , that I'd rather not doing it than scaring the shit out of someone.
and it hurts to see how people are drifting around like thunder-clouds , showing nothing but their grumpy faces.

 -
15.12.13

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/loneliness.html#LuSygHIMXuzcWoqq.99

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/loneliness.html#LuSygHIMXuzcWoqq.99

:)

cuz' I know there are people who say these things don't happen

and who forget what it's like to be 16 , when they turn 17

and i know this will all be stories someday

and our pictures will become old photographs

and we'll all become someone's mom or dad

but right now these moments are not stories

this is happening

i am here

i can see it

this one moment when you know you're not a sad story

you are alive

and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings

and everything that makes you wonder

and you're listening to that song on that drive

with the people you love most in this world

and in this moment

i swear, we are infinite.

always

There's always gonna be another mountainI'm always gonna wanna make it moveAlways gonna be a uphill battleSometimes I'm gonna have to lose

The struggles I'm facingThe chances I'm takingSometimes might knock me downBut no, I'm not breaking

I got to be strongJust keep pushing on.

motherfuckers

My grades need to be higher.
My weight needs to be lower.
My stomach needs to be flatter.
My wallet needs to be fatter.
My skin needs to be tanner.
My teeth need to be whiter.
My heart needs to be stronger.
My friends need to be uglier.
My face needs to be prittier.
My hair needs to be longer.
My skirt needs to be shorter.
My body needs to be hotter.
My image needs to be cooler.
My boobs need to be bigger.
My waist needs to be smaller.

Society really knows how to make you feel like shit. :)

2012

here is 2012 and here is my chance to live my life to the fullest.
through the last year there are a lot of things that i didn't do.
i just wanna write some of them here which will remind me what and my goals ...
till the end of this year..
i want to:
- be better than i was last year
-live every day like it's my last
-find TRUE friends
-get a boyfriend (finally)
-have a magical night(s)
-get drunk on the beach
-have fun
-become less shy
-travel
-make my parents proud
-love myself
-get better grades
-tell people how i really feel
-stop being insecure
-be found something against cancer
-feel beautiful
-be more confident
-laugh A LOT
- spend my summer near the sea
- go to every party i can
-change my style
-disappear for 1 week
i just wanna this year to be the best one in my life. <3

not strong enough

you will survive if you follow just one simple rule..
you should stay strong when it's all going wrong..
simple , right?
and in the same time..
the hardest thing ever..

..

im a space-bound rocketship and your heart's the moon
and im aiming right AT YOU.